Semyon's Books

What if a shop were a minidungeon?

I have to start with a bookstore.

This "store" is the private collection of Semyon, an ascetic bibliophile lich. They live (ha) for books, and spend all of their time acquiring them or reading. They hired a lamia, Antiope, to archive and manage the collection, and show it off to the public. She did, and then immediately turned around and started selling the books on the side. Semyon is oblivious to this - they have so many books that they never notice that the collection is in steady flux. Antiope has subcontracted out most of the sales work to a pair of goblin brothers so that she can focus on building the store into an intellectual salon.

The store is in a series of connected basements, accessible from the street via a flight of stairs.

Denizens

There's a lot of movement in the store. Roll for wandering monsters fairly frequently.

Roll 2d6 or pick:

2. Angry Wizard: stats as 5th level magic-user (has Read Languages, Magic Missile, Continual Light, Phantasmal Force, and Lightning Bolt memorized). Seated on a stool or wandering blindly, reading. Will look up, eyes flashing, and hush anyone the first time they speak. Further sound in the room provokes an attack. He is wearing ink-stained robes and carrying 50gp.
   
3. Elf Aesthete: stats as elf (dagger). Smoking a large water pipe carried by a halfling servant (unarmed). The billowing smoke he exhales is a powerful narcotic; save vs poison if in the same room to resist falling asleep. This will affect everyone except for the lamia and the lich. The elf acts normally, and is unaware that he's employing a chemical weapon. The halfling stumbles along, his eyes glassy. The water pipe is inlaid in chalcedony, and together with whatever the hell drug is inside it is worth 200gp. The halfling is carrying his master's purse of 100gp. The elf's vibrant brocade robes are worth another 50gp.
   
4. Thief: stats as bandit (short sword). Startled by PCs, they drop several books they have secreted under their cloak, and try to enlist help in pulling off their heist. The charred corpse in the entry vestibule is their erstwhile partner. They have a counterfeit receipt chit. It won't work. They are carrying 10gp.
   
5. Simple Customer: stats as normal human (unarmed). Believe it or not, they're just looking for a book.
   
6. Bookstore Cat: stats as lion. Lazy. Adores the lamia.
   
7. d8 Intellectuals (Students, Dandies, etc): stats as normal humans (knives). Belong to either the Blues or the Greens, who violently disagree about some bizarre point of artistic interpretation (perhaps the merits of the later plays of Voss Bender). Hostile if the PCs (or other nearby denizens) appear to be from the opposing side. Otherwise will try to enlist the PCs' aid. Each one is carrying 1d4 gp.
   
8. Checkout Counter: two goblin brothers, one with an enormous ledger of book prices (and a dagger), one wearing what looks like a wooden vendor's stall (otherwise unarmed). A sign near his knees says "CHECKOUT." (If the lich enters the room, the goblin will kick the stall to drop a board to hide the checkout sign and start to shuffle away.) They will take money in exchange for any books the PCs wish to buy, and will provide receipt chits. If threatened or attacked, the stall-bearing goblin will blow a whistle to summon the lamia. The stall goblin is carrying 200gp, the ledger goblin 10gp.
   
9. d6 Haughty Fucks: stats as normal humans (1 with knife, the rest unarmed). If any PCs are reading, the fucks will demand to know what they're reading, and then claim that the books the fucks read are better. They appear to consider this to be flirtation. Each is carrying 1d6 gp.
   
10. Hustling Author: stats as normal human (unarmed). He is furtively setting up a small stand with copies of his book (a philosophical treatise on how human souls are in fact shaped like squid). The lamia will chase him out if she finds him. He will try to sell copies of his book to the PCs, and ask for their help in mollifying the lamia. He has 2gp.
    
11. Antiope, the Lamia: (I had in mind the snake kind, not the lion kind.) Stats roughly as vampire (armed with dagger +1), minus all abilities except for mundane damage immunity and charming gaze. The primary proprietor of the establishment. She will accept money for books (she has the inventory and prices memorized) and a receipt chit, and will buy interesting books the PCs might want to sell. She will do everything in her power to keep the lich from learning that their books are being sold. Offers to improve the cultural cachet of the store will interest her. She is carrying 100gp and, on a silver chain, a sardonyx intaglio of her mother (whole piece worth 200gp).
    
12. Semyon, the Lich: stats as Spectre, minus the reproduction, and the lich is corporeal. Casts as 5th level magic-user; has memorized Detect Magic, Read Languages, Locate Object (x2), and Hold Person. The owner of the collection, who doesn't know the lamia and goblins are selling the books. Rather absent-minded, so won't pick up on slips of the tongue, but will become very angry indeed if the point is made clear to them. If found wandering the store, they will be looking for a specific book and will ignore everyone else if possible. They are wearing a moth-eaten bathrobe and make no attempt to hide their nature.
    

Traps and hazards

Roll 2d4 or pick:

2. Comfortable Chair: blocking access to the shelves in the corner of this room sits a large stuffed chair. A haggard man, stubble on his chin, sits reading. He is shaking a little. If addressed, he will look up, smile absently, and return to his book. He will refuse to leave the chair. If pulled out of the chair (he will struggle, but is very weak), he will come to his senses and remember that he has been sitting in the chair for several days. He was on an errand for his master (a local merchant) to obtain a book on viticulture. He will beg the PCs for any food they can spare, as he has not eaten in all that time. Anyone sitting in the chair will find that it is the most comfortable chair they have ever known, perfect in every way for reading, and their awareness of anything but the chair and the books nearby will fade. They will not want to leave the chair and will fight attempts to force them to, but the compulsion will quickly fade as soon as they are stood up.
3. Potted Strangler Vines: hanging in pots from the ceiling of this book room are four strangler plants (6 tendrils per plant, each with 1hp and attacking at +1 for 1d2 damage; the plant bodies each have 10hp). A corpse lies on the floor, with a wand of Sleep (2 charges left) and 20gp. The plants will not attack the lich, who might be found watering them. A paper sign reading "Closed to the public" is lying on the floor of the room.
   
4. Copious Dust: moving through or searching this room will kick up enough dust and mold spores to spark loud sneezing fits (save vs poison to negate), provoking a wandering monster check.
   
5. Book Piles: varying heights, some reaching the ceiling. Navigating the room will knock one over on 2-in-6 (treat as trap, +1 to hit, 1d2 damage).
6. Conspicuous Book: one book is sticking out from the rest on its shelf. Pushing it in triggers a magical trap (save vs spells) that curses its target to be unable to leave a bookstore without buying a book. (This is an experiment by the lamia to drive sales.)
   
7. Alluring Book: one book in this room sparks an intense lust to own it (price 50gp, topic by room). Just passing through the room only incurs a 1-in-6 chance to trigger the effect, but searching the room will guarantee it. Save vs spells to resist the book's call.
   
8. Ghost (in the Kempian style): the cover of one book (price 100gp, topic by room) in this room is made from the hide of a stag who used to be a man; this is obviously the corpse. Choose 1 PC to be affected.
   Premonition: you hear the baying of hounds. They're getting closer.
   Manifestation: every round(ish) you don't spend running as fast as you can, you take 1 damage from bites to your legs and belly.
   Propitiation: spend one minute moving through water (or anything similarly effective at masking your scent trail). Alternatively, you or one of your companions can place the book with an offering of meat or antler from a deer in a temple of the goddess of the hunt. (This latter method will permanently put the ghost to rest.)

Rooms

This is all sort of loosey-goosey in my head - I don't have a layout in mind. I imagine some fixed points of interest, separated from one another (except where noted) by 1-3 other rooms, which are either cramped corridors or filled with bookshelves. For three-quarters of the rooms, you'd roll on the denizen or the traps and hazards table, or both.

Some fixed locations:

• Entry Vestibule: scuffed yellow chalk line halfway across room. On side nearest door, a charred human corpse (2gp in its pockets). On the wall nearby is neatly written, in goblin, "Theft is a crime." Any creature crossing the line towards the exit while holding a book from inside the store without a receipt chit will trigger a fire blast from the ceiling (+2 to hit, 2d8 fire damage). A door with a barred window leads to the bag check room; it will hit a bell when opened.
  
• Bag Check Room: a rat-man sits on a stool, sleeping (wakes if bell is tripped, or if people are loud). He will demand that customers exchange any bags they're carrying for wooden clothespins with numbers on them, which they can use to retrieve their bags upon leaving. If they refuse, he will call out to his six siblings (for all, stats as goblins with short swords) in the rat-folk-warren in the wall behind him and they will try to force the customers to leave the store. Bags left with him are safe, except that any food in them is eaten. Two open doorways (no doors) lead to book rooms. Each rat-folk is carrying 1gp. The warren is full of bags being held for customers, with a bunch of junk and 1d100 gp in them in total.
  
• Cafe: a larger room free of shelves. Two tables with chairs. A barista stands reading behind a counter, which holds two plates of pastries, a large samovar of very hot coffee, and a half-dozen chipped ceramic cups. The barista is aloof, but will deign to sell the refreshments at extortionate prices (10gp each). One kind of pastry confers the ability to read a language for one hour, depending on the filling (d4: cherry (goblin), rhubarb (sea troll), pawpaw (dwarven), lemon (lizardfolk)), followed by an hour of dizziness. The other pastries are normal, as is the coffee. The barista has a well-developed acid tongue, and offending or bothering her will provoke a cutting remark upon the appearance, character, or parentage of the offender (+3 to hit, 1d6 psychic damage, save vs spells to retort and take only half damage; otherwise stats as normal human). She has a key to the bathroom behind the counter; it is attached by a chain to a large stone heavy enough to require two people to carry. She will lend the key if a valuable item is left as collateral. The barista is carrying 20gp. Two doors lead to book rooms.
  
• Bathroom: locked door from a corridor near the cafe. No sign. Tiny. Floor is dingy black-and-white checkerboard tiles. A wooden board has been placed over the toilet seat. On the wall above the toilet is scrawled, "NO." On the wall above a hole hacked in the floor is scrawled, "YES."A buzzing sound can be heard from the toilet. If the wooden board is removed, a giant undead wasp (stats as killer bee, but undead) is freed to attack. The hole in the floor opens into a septic pit, but the room itself doesn't smell.
  
• Lich's Room: accessible only via a tiny flight of stairs behind a secret door in a book room. Pitch black. Contains a comfy chair. Otherwise it is packed with stacks of books, many reaching the ceiling. Moving around the room causes a stack to topple on 3-in-6 (treat as trap, +1 to hit, 1d2 damage). The lich is in the chair reading on 2-in-6, and is not pleased to have intruders. No roll on denizen table in this room.
  
• Flooded Room: one half-level below the other rooms. Two entrances, each with stairs up to the main level. The waist-high water is murky and stale, and the room reeks of mildew. The water will stain clothes and leave a stench that reduces NPC reaction rolls by 1. Empty bookshelves line the walls. Half-height empty shelves fill the interior. It is possible to cross the room by hopping between them. Green slime covers half of the bookshelves.
  
• Meeting Room: one doorway from a book room. Benches and flimsy chairs provide seating for two dozen. 7 intellectuals (3 Blues and 4 Greens) are sitting, bored. An eighth, a Blue, is reciting some truly execrable poetry at the head of the room. The lamia is leaning against a wall near the doorway, wincing occasionally. Every five minutes spent in the room listening to the poetry incurs 1 psychic damage (save vs death ray to negate). The lamia will shush the PCs if they raise their voices, but will leave the room to speak to them on a non-hostile reaction roll. The recital lasts ten minutes, and ends with applause from the Blues and boos from the Greens. If the lamia has left the room, they'll start brawling when the reading ends.
  

How to shop

The proper abstraction for shopping is tricky. This would be my first stab at it, but it's provisional.

If at all possible, try to nail the players down on what they're looking for before they enter, so you can take some time (either between sessions or even a five-minute break at the table) to reduce the in-the-moment improv pressure.

If the PCs are browsing (generally or on a known topic), generate 1-3 topics per room (Cavegirl's got a nice subject matter table; it should be easy to adapt any result to your world). I might have some topics span multiple rooms. Unless the target topic is obscure, it should be somewhere; roll to determine which room. Titles are much harder (for me, at least) to generate on the fly, but preparing some snowclones can help (stuff like, "Benedictus's Gloss on ____", "Concerning ____ and Other Curious Phenomena", etc).

If the PCs are looking for a specific book, handle the topic as above, and then use your favorite rules for tossing the room (don't forget wandering monster rolls). If it's a rare book, I'd say it's there on 1- or 2-in-6; otherwise, on a 4- or 5-in-6. If it isn't there, the players might be able to convince the lamia to acquire it for them. The lich is another option, probably requiring more finesse.

The players can seek help finding a topic or book, too.

Either the goblin brothers or the lamia will accept payment for books.

Treasure

There isn't a lot of explicit treasure here, but it's an entire store full of books, many of which are probably valuable. If the players just want to find some loot, I'd probably use Anne's rules for searching amid abundance. They're a good fit for matched sets of books (like the volumes of a longer work), respected works in a field, and the rare first editions that go unremarked by the casual browser. Some may even be more valuable than their list price.

Rumors and hooks

Tidbits to get the PCs interested in visiting:

• a local wizard has gone missing, and their apprentice is worried. They were last seen heading to the bookstore. This is the corpse in the strangler vine room.
• the barista's mother has heard worrying rumors that the bookstore is frequented by those no-good feuding Blues and Greens, and wants the PCs to convince the barista to quit her job.
• the Greens want to disrupt the Blues' poetry reading.
• the store hasn't renewed its business license. The lich is the owner of record (this will be news to them), and the PCs are to collect the fee.
• a wine merchant's servant is missing. He sent him to buy a book. Go find him! This is the man in the Comfortable Chair.
• a widow wants to sell her husband's book collection, and hopes the lamia might do an appraisal.
  

Of course, simpler barks are easy: steal a book, kill the lich, burn the store down, etc.

Comments

This is obviously not at all carefully level-matched, but it's perfectly possible for even level-0s to make it in and out in one piece.

There's a balance between making sure it's a plausible store (where PCs can get stuff they want) and also a plausible dungeon (where the PCs can get hurt). It leans towards the former, mostly to reduce the chances of unpleasant expectation mismatches. You can ratchet up the threat if that won't be a problem at your table.

If someone dies in the store, you've got a perfect opportunity to let the PCs find an entrance to the Stygian Library (man am I kicking myself for having missed the remaster Kickstarter earlier this year).

If I do five more of these, will that make d6 merchant dungeons?